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CHARLOTTE -- Blakeley Shea says tense times with the other women during filming of "The Bachelor" were bad enough, but reliving the experience by watching the show is even worse.

Shea, a Charlotte cocktail waitress and sometimes-model, left the show sobbing in this week's episode after being ditched by bachelor Ben Flajnik, 29, a California winemaker. In the weeks the show has aired, she's gotten to see how some of the other bachelorettes trashed her behind her back.

"Seeing the girls say the most hateful and hurtful things about me behind my back -- I knew there was tension and people ostracized me, but I never knew they said such things about me," says Shea, 34, a native of Rutherfordton.

Things improved with most of the other contestants during their visit to San Francisco, she says, but never quite got right with model Courtney Robertson, who plays the role of the scheming villain in this year's "Bachelor."

Robertson called Shea a "stripper" behind her back. Shea says that's unusual coming from Robertson, who took Flajnik skinny-dipping one night in front of the cameras.
"I just wouldn't go skinny-dipping in front of America," Shea says.

Shea says she developed feelings for Flajnik. As she got to know him, she found in him qualities she wants in a mate -- compassion, energy, humor.

Flajnik rejected her, though, saying he just didn't think he had long-term feelings for her. She left wondering where she'd gone wrong.

"It's definitely hurtful when you don't understand. ... It hurt me so bad. Just holding him and crying before I got into the car to leave, I think he felt, 'Wow, I didn't know how strongly she felt.' ... If he wasn't feeling it, it was probably better for both of us."

North Carolina is not done with "The Bachelor," though. Still on the show is Emily O'Brien, 27, a graduate student at UNC Chapel Hill. And in the next season of "The Bachelorette," the roses will be handed out by Emily Maynard of Charlotte, who got a proposal but ultimately broke up with former "Bachelor" Brad Womack.